millenniumtheater's Xanga

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:46:30 GMT

Tired and cold and feelin' edible.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Sat, 24 May 2008 22:42:31 GMT

brad holland

apathy

Thu, 15 May 2008 21:10:50 GMT

there are worst things you could be feeling.

apocalypse

Wed, 14 May 2008 01:03:25 GMT

Forget after the bomb. What happens after the bomb? Who gives a shit? There’s nothing after the bomb—nothing to fight for, nothing to prove, nothing to say. Really now, the way you go on about that bomb when you could be occupying yourself with other things—life for instance…

Revelation my ass.

allusions

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:27:33 GMT

lines from my novel, based on quotes from other authors. they're not really subtle. not quite plagiarism, methinks. just a tipping of the hat to shakespeare and others.

***

“Because she is a woman, you forget she is an even greater anomaly to this place,” Simeon reasoned. “Imagine what cruelty she must have embraced in order to unsex herself for war."

Lady Macbeth: "Come, you spirits / That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here."

"We dreaded that our wives might be sold into slavery, our children thrown from the city walls, our homes burned, our communities forgotten."

What happened to Hector's family after Troy was sacked.

"Does she sigh for your pains, bid you to believe that your care for her actually amounts to something remarkable, perhaps, or profound?"

Othello: "My story being done, she gave me for my pains a world of sighs: she swore, in faith, 'twas strange, 'twas passing strange; 'twas pitiful, 'twas wondrous pitiful."

***

can't think of others. oh well.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:36:58 GMT

"in fear everything
lives, impermanence
makes the edges of things burn

brighter."

-Margaret Atwood (super-feminist)

***

i dare say...

she's growing on me. she's an acquired taste. like wasabi, or the dresden dolls, or root beer.

=D

although i still don't like root beer.

shout out

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 01:59:10 GMT

i am not afraid to be happy. i will not "refuse to try because i am afraid to disappoint". i think that philosophy is a load of bullshit. no. worse than bullshit. it's a cliche.

i can't put a name to my greatest fear, but i think it has to do with mazes and loosing sight of people in them.

i measure the phases of my life by the books i obsessed over.

i believe in:

1. creation
2. existentialism
3. popular theism
4. intrinsic truths
5. conscience
6. humanism
7. heroism
8. hedonism
9. and parodox

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:22:38 GMT

"Burn the Louvre," the mechanic says, "and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names."

Monday, March 31, 2008

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 01:35:46 GMT

http://www.saysomethingsweet.deviantart.com.

i think... this is definitely a step somewhere.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:23:30 GMT

so it all started when my mother's aunt (number 5 out of 7) was hospitalized and got amnesia. she now remembers only her husband and daughter.

the daughter isn't hers. she's the child of her husband and a woman he once had an affair with. my mom's aunt had three sons of her own, but she doesn't remember them (the two that are still alive). the daughter is incredibly kind. she always took care of her foster mother, despite obvious awkwardness in the family. back then (and now, in most cases), divorce was pretty much impossible.

anyway.

my mom's aunt had three sons. two are still alive. the youngest (quite possibly her favorite) was executed for murder. he killed his wife (who came from an extremely wealthy, prestigious family) by accident. according to my mother, he was very handsome. he, like his father, was having an affair that got out of control. he was pressured from both sides to leave the "other woman", pressured by his family for having an affair, his mother for being like his father, etc.

one night, he and his wife got into a heated argument. they were chasing each other around the house with knives. he accidentally cut her throat. he was so scared that he then proceeded to cut her body into pieces in order to hide the evidence. obviously, he was caught, tried, and executed.

it was a huge case in shanghai. most chinese families probably still remember.

they had a son. the wife's family got custody. my mom's aunt kept trying to send her other sons to her in-laws' house with gifts, food, etc. for the boy, but they were always kicked out, the food thrown away.

the boy wasn't well taken care of. he got bad grades, made bad friends, etc. he's grown up now. after a while, his maternal grandparents couldn't handle him, and told him that he had to leave. go back to his father's house because he didn't belong to them anyway. now he works in his older uncle's company.

back to my mom's aunt.

so she had the whole thing with her husband and his mistress and the daughter that wasn't hers, whom she raised from infancy. and then her youngest son killed his wife and got himself executed. and then her grandson was taken away to be made an utter and complete failure (not that it was his fault, because he couldn't have had a very happy childhood).

she had a ton more issues though. she became an insomniac. she was severely depressed, and attempted suicide three times. she ate over two hundred sleeping pills and didn't die (which says something about chinese quack medicine), and she bashed her head with bricks. i didn't really feel like asking about how she tried to kill herself the third time.

so my mom felt that the recent amnesia might actually be good for her. better that than psychological torment.

***

my mom also remembered once when the entire family was gathered for her uncle's funeral (the one brother to the 7 sisters, who committed suicide during the cultural revolution), and her aunt asked her if there was a law in china against adultery. my mom answered no--there were only laws against polygamy. the aunt was disappointed, because she thought that maybe she could get her son locked up for a couple of years, in which case his mistress would obviously leave him. it would save everyone--her son included--a lot of heartache. they didn't know that stuff was happening back in shanghai at the same time they were having that conversation.